NOT SO MUCH

There have been too many years

Filled with too many tears, memories

Adrift in a dark sea of liquid dreams.

Yet,this was never about booze, or

The haze that blinded reality, or

Not having made an effort at anything,

Other than lifting that glass filled with

No tomorrows. This had been about

Being lost in a vatic reality, a lifetime

Attempting to escape the feelings of

Failure and inadequacy, a child not

Knowing who he was, or if there was

A tomorrow with love or comfort in it.

The growing into manhood, feeling

Lost and without direction or courage.

Understanding? No, only that

Unyielding bed of loneliness where

There was nothing left to feel or touch.

And hope? NOT SO MUCH

PLAYING WITH TOYS

The lens captures the image,

Gold and burnt orange leaves

Caught in the wind, finally

Settling on a grassy surface.

For one moment I have been

Able to capture the color of

Today, the brilliance of autumn,

Replete with cool breezes, and

Fading sunlight struggling to

Shine through bare branches.

If only time could be embraced

So poetically, to be poured over,

Tinkered with on ones computer.

I have seized the moment, not

Realizing that I am trapped in

A story, out of focus, playing with

The conventional toys of today.

Will I ever learn that I cannot

Recreate the past in order

To ignore the perils of the present?