NOT SO MUCH

There have been too many years

Filled with too many tears, memories

Adrift in a dark sea of liquid dreams.

Yet,this was never about booze, or

The haze that blinded reality, or

Not having made an effort at anything,

Other than lifting that glass filled with

No tomorrows. This had been about

Being lost in a vatic reality, a lifetime

Attempting to escape the feelings of

Failure and inadequacy, a child not

Knowing who he was, or if there was

A tomorrow with love or comfort in it.

The growing into manhood, feeling

Lost and without direction or courage.

Understanding? No, only that

Unyielding bed of loneliness where

There was nothing left to feel or touch.

And hope? NOT SO MUCH