"PLATEAU"

There is a plateau in my mind,

Endless in size as it is flat.

I wander it’s smooth surface,

Overcome by it’s dimension,

Frightened that I can see no

Depth, nor landscape offering

The answer to why it exists.

I want to race to the edge, peer

Over the side, that omnipresent

Dangerous edge” sans safety net.

I yearn for anything that may provide

An outlet to this boundary, this single

Dimensional purgatory. My endless

Plateau-always shrouded in a stark

Hopelessness-penetrating every

Nook and cranny of my mind.

It holds me back from a real-or

Imagined-glorified destiny of purpose.

The drinking stopped, the anger abated,

The allowance of others to be first,

All an effort to move off this plateau.

Do I live that timeless quip:“Horror Vacui,

The fear of the nothing that is”?

So often I ask:is the end no more

Than a remorseless coffin?

Is this really the last plateau?

If I peer over the edge,

Will anything be there?

ONTHE STAGE?

ON THE STAGE?

I am trapped in the fifth row,

The theater that is my mind,

Waiting for my father to race

Across the footlights, leading

The way to my destiny(?). Yes,

Giving me the script of life to

Follow, the path to tread, and

How to behave like a man.

I am that forever actor, a

Frightened subaltern waiting

For my “director”to place me

On the right “spot” of the stage

To play my part in life, yet

Knowing when the curtain descends

That thunderous applause

Will be for anyone but me.

DAYS GONE BY

Every day that I have trouble

Getting out of my bed,

The bones start to creak

And the circus starts

Playing in the back of my head.

Is this what it’s like getting old

And all gray, my skin starting

To wrinkle with seventy degrees

Much too cold for the day?

I lay there wondering

Which day will be my last,

Then I crowd out those

Thoughts with memories

Of days long past.

Playing ball in the park

And riding on my bike,

Swimming at the beach,

What’s not to like?

There were party’s and

Girls and dances galore

The music was terrific

And I always wanted “more.”

I wish I could forget the

Mad behavior and drinking,

The damage I wrought,

What was I thinking? But

I have to concentrate

Just on today, leave yesterday

For the biographers and

Hope for another good day